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Hello anyone that is still checking this page. Sorry if I have left you hanging lately. I am now in the USA again. Home sweet home. After a week of still feeling under the weather I am finally getting better and getting back to normal life, although it is hard to adjust to being home again. I have started processing the trip and it is still strange looking around at familiar scenery. It feels like a dream. I am glad to be back in comfortable America and I do not think I have ever appreciated this country so much. I am slowly recapping everything that went down in the last two months, from Amsterdam to Rome to India and back again. What a crazy adventure it was. I am thankful I had the opportunity to do everything I did. So many people and places.... So glad that I went. I want to thank everyone for reading this blog, I am really happy that I could share my adventures with so many people, and it was always good to know that someone would be following it. I know that my travels in India will stay with me for a long time, but I am not sure how it will affect me yet. I am still the same person as before, maybe a little more confident in myself though. I know that I can get by in this world on my own now. And I am sure the whole experience of making my way around a foreign country will help me in years to come. All in all, an amazing journey that I will never forget. Thanks again everyone for reading! Namaste

Sick Again

So the last few days have not been so fun. I contracted  a fever and had to spend some time going to doctors and hospitals. I was really concerned that I may have gotten malaria, because I had a lot of the symptoms. So I went to the hospital, which was an experience in itself, and took all my strength to make it there yesterday, I was so weak and tired. But made it. Then after some waiting I got a blood test, and went back 5 hours later to learn that everything was fine. No malaria. Thank god. So I was supposed to leave for Dharamsala today, but there is no way this is happening now. I actually think I wanna come home as soon as possible. Being sick really took a lot out of me and I have kind of had it with everything to be honest. It is unfortunate that the trip might have to end on a sour note, but I have done sooo much and am proud of what I have done. I do not think there is any shame in throwing in the towl. I spoke to a taxi man that can take me to Delhi in two days, and I am going to try to get a flight back on the 2nd of November, I think. I am just exhausted and do not think I can keep traveling. It would probably be in my best interest to get home. And I really miss home at this point. So this is the tentative plan, I will try to make another post when I get further along. 

Happy Diwali

Hello people. It has been a few days, and again it is hard to know where to begin, although my time here has been relatively low key. My mother requested that I put more pictures up of myself so I made an effort to in the last few days. So a few days ago, I am not sure what day, it all rolls into one, I moved from Ved Niketan over to Laksmanjhula on the other side of town. The strangest coincidence occurred on the way over. I ran into a guy a went to elementary school with named Nikunj. I heard my name and was totally surprised and then we chatted for a bit. He was born in Bombay and is here for a wedding with his family. It was really crazy running into him and it really tripped me out. Nice to see somebody from back home too. So after the long walk over to Laksmanhula, a guy insisted that I take a look at his ashram rooms and I decided to stay there after inspecting them and finding that they were immaculate compared to my cell at Ved Niketan. The people there are really nice and helpful. And the place is a lot smaller than other ashrams around, and much different. I decided to go to Osho mediation center up the road a ways, because I had heard about the classes there. It was just me and a few of the devotees there, and I took part in a meditation that was totally different than anything I expected. It consisted of a few different parts. First standing up and shaking your body from the knees, then dancing along with music and letting yourself go with it, then sitting and then lying down. It was quite interesting and a kind of enjoyed it although it was not what I expected. I also did another yoga class yesterday at an ashram I had heard of that was really nice and maintained well. This was Hatha yoga ad I enjoyed it most out of any of the classes I have taken. For the last few evenings I have went to a litle beach are on the river, where the had evening ceremonies. It is really cool hearing bells and chanting off in the distance from every direction. Oh and I forgot to mention Diwali. This was at it's height two nights ago and was really cool. Tons of lights strung up everywhere, candles lit and lots and lots of fireworks. Every ten seconds you would hear a boooom. I went outside of my ashram and some kids were lighting fireworks and even let me light a few. Always nice to be in on the action and not just a spectator. Still there are fireworks today but a lot less. Other than all this, I met an American couple who had just gotten married and we talked for an hour or so at this cool; little restaurant called Ganga Beach. There are tons of travelers here, after the Americans I met a few German girls and had a sweet lassi with them. For those of you who do not know that is a drink. Today I was not feeling my best and took it very easy, napping for a good while. I felt quite bad in the morning but it passes rather quickly. Hopefully whatever it was will not come back. I decided to bypass Shimla and go straight to Dharamsala on a 14 hr bus ride...yay. The shimla bus is a local bus, and I have heard some nightmare stories. At least this way I will be on a tourist bus which should be a little nicer and comfortable, but will still probably be tough. Thats all I feel like writing for now, talk to you all in Dharamsala.

Yoga

Ved Niketan from outside

Evening aarti ant Parmeth Niketan

I am really en joying Rishikesh. The evenings are the best time, when it is cool and breezy, I could not ask for better weather. I am now staying at Ved Niketan Ashram across the river from Dayananda but closer to the Ramjula section of town. A lot more going on here, and within range of a lot of the big elaborate ashrams. So much to tell as always, it is hard to know where to begin. I'll start with a few days ago, after my last post. I went to a "music concert" that was being advertised on flyers all over town, hoping to see some good musicians. It was held in a little yoga hall and they charged 200 rupees to get in.. I was already turned off buit paid they money. After a tabla player performed solo, which was not so bad, a "sitar player" got up and attempted to play. His instrument was out of tune and right away it was obvious he had no idea how to really play Indian classical music at all. I kept thinking is this a joke? until after a few minutes I got up and left, as all the other westerners apparently had no idea. I was a little upset for a bit, that they were trying to pass this off as a music concert, and was shamed that I had been dooped. You win some you lose some I suppose. After such amazing music in Varanasi, I guess it is not so easy to find here in Rishikesh. But yoga is another story. There are almost too many places to choose from to have a yoga class but I will get to that in a bit. Yesterday I was still at Dayananda in the morning and had breakfast and lunch there, and met Mataji for a bit in between. The food was quite good, and everyone sits on the floor to eat, except some of the older people that sit in chairs. After, everyone washes there own trays in a huge sink area and then puts everything back for the next time. It is cool how the community is so important and eveyone does a share. I gave a donation and packed my bags to head to my next destination. They were really nice and appreciative of the donation, which was not terribly a lot, and did not ask for more or anything. Really nice people, I wish there was some classes going on there necause I may have liked to stay longer. But Ved Niketan is ok. Cheap and filled with westerners, my room is more liek a cell, but it is perfectly fine for a few days. For 100 rupees a night I can hardly complain. They offer yoga classes in the morning and afternoon, and I took part in the afternoon class yesterday and today. The teacher is likeable and the ytoga hall is a really cool place. Doing yoga as the evening approaches is really peacful although I am not sure if I really like yoga all that much. It is more painful than anything else for me, and hard to get through. My favorite aspects are the breathing and mediative parts of the routine, the om chants are really nice. And at the end when you lay on the ground in silence, this is quite nice. I am trying to like it, and I want to but it is more of a chore to me. I think I am finding that I just like meditation, not so much all of the physical labors of yoga. Maybe I will do a few more classes, but tehre is a meditation center that offers daily mediation sessions which I am more interested to take part in over the next week. That being said, I do feel nice after the yoga session is over, a lot more peaceful but it might just have to do with the time of day.

Yesterday after the yoga class I went a few paces over to Parmeth Niketan to watch the evening aarti ceremony on the river. It was quite beautiful with singing and fire and all kinds of stuff. Lots of people were there too. I spotted an englishman who I had met in Varanasi and we went and got dinner afterwards at the Ayurvedic Cafe. I really liek this place, it is only 100 feet from Ved Niketan as well. I had a hot apple cider and a chocolate pancake that hit the spot. We talked a lot about meditation and spirituality and general, and some books worth noting. But I said that I had read so many spiritual books from so many different teachers and that they really all just say the same thing. Maybe in differenty ways, but they all come back to the same points, and truth is really inside your self and no where else. So sooner or later you have to throw it all out, becasue sometimes it fills your head with so many concepts that you can never reach the point that you want to reach, which is not in any book. To this he agreed. He was staying a little ways way and was leaving in the morning, so I said farewell and parted at the gates of Ved Niketan. He was an interesting guy, and very relaxed due to lots of mediation, which makes me want to intensify my own practice.

Ayurvedic Cafe

Today I went to Maharishi's Ashram, made famous by the Beatles who dwelt there for a time in the 60's. It is all deserted now, and really not maintained at all. So there was really not that much to see, everything was deteriorating, and much of the grounds were overgrown. But still coll to see. It is a shame it was not kept up better,it looked like an awesome place. The gate was locked, but someone let me in to look aroudn for 50 rupees. After this I took a long nap, I was really tired today, and eventually got to another yoga class at 4. So not a super eventful day, but I like that I can take my time, and not do much if I decide to. These are the benefits of long term travel, I do not have to squeeze everything into a few days. I just wondered around this huge and beautful ashram next to mine, which has fountains and lights and everything is very nice and well kept. Now I am here at the ashram internet cafe and will soon go back dwon the oad for dinner.Not much else to report, I think I will saty another day here, and then maybe relocate to Laksmanjhula on the other end of town. Peace for now.

I think this was used for meditation, these were all over the place

Gate from the inside at Maharasi's Ashram

Ashram next to mine

Mataji

Dayananda temple in the ashram

view from Dayananda

Shiva at Parmeth Niketan

Ved Niketan Ashram, where i will relocate to most likely

cave

Mataji

After a long train ride (about 19 hours), I finally reached Rishikesh at around 4 AM Luckily there were two other travelers, a German and a Spaniard also heading to Rishikesh from Haridwar train station, so we shared a rickshaw and I arrived at Dayananda Ashram early this morning. they were kind enough to get me into a room, although the office was not officially opened yet, but after some waiting around, i was shown a room, not a bad one at that, and laid down for an hour before breakfast was served. my whole day here has just been amazing, and after breakfast, served community style, some kind of mush that was pretty good,  I could finally take in the surroundings as it was light out. first thing i saw was the Himilayan mountains towering above the ashram walls, I was already in love. then after wondering around the ashram I came upon the Ganges, and a beautiful overlooking spot. I climbed down the steps and sat near the river for a while watching some people who were praying and others who were washing their cloths. the water here is a lot cleaner than Varanasi, and the mix of mountains and river create an amazing scene. The ashram I am staying at is a little ways from the main hub of Rishikesh, and very quiet and peaceful. but there is not much going on here it seems, there is a yoga retreat here that i can have no part in, and there are no classes being offered at the present time. So really I can only hang out and enjoy the peace and quiet, have meals, and watch ashram life. It is mostly Indians living here, have not seen other travelers. There is another ashram in Ramjula, which is where more action is, and I am thinking of moving there, as it is cheap, filled with travelers, and within range of everything. There are also free yoga classes. So later I decided I should explore Rishikesh, so I took a rickshaw to Ramjula, where there were a lot more people and noise, but cool area nonetheless. you have to cross a bridge by foot, which is crammed and motorbikes make it a bit hectic. so wandered around this area a bit, there are lots of ashrams here which are pretty cool to see. One huge one is Parmeth Niketan, where there is a lot of beautiful architecture and gardens, as well as a giant Shiva monument right on the Ganges. after a brief lunch i went in here, and a few other ones, including Ved Niketan, which is at the end of the block. the mountains everywhere are amazing, I have found I have a soft spot for the mountains, so this place is just putting me in a daze.

The highlights of my day really did not begin until I wandered into another ashram, of which i forget the name, which had many portraits of krishna which told many stories from the Hindu tradition. after a bit, a old Hindu woman told me to come sit down and offered to explain all of the pictures and teach me all about everything. so i said ok. Her English was great and she was quite kind, i could tell right away that she wanted nothing in return and was genuinely interested in me. she had many western friends that she had made through the years and had taught many people Hindi as well. her name was Rashmi, but everyone called her Mataji (mother). So we continued to chat and went by the river where she told me all about so many things. One of her teachings consisted of four truths that would fare any human well throughout life. the basis of it was this:
"Your head should be of high thought and feelings, your mouth should be filled with sweet words, your hands should be truthful, and your underwear tight.' i especially liked the last bit. these little lessons in livings would continue throughout the day, most of which we spent together as she took me all around showing me places and people. Again I found myself wandering off the tourist path, and perhaps it is due to me being alone that these opportunities present themselves. Mataji took me to meet a man who was quite poor but watched over many animals, mostly dogs, and fed and cared for them, despite he himself having so little. She said he was truly genuine and a good good man. this guy I found very interesting, his home was not very much, a few tarps and concrete on a hill next to the river, but his heart seemed big. he had faith that food would always be provided for him, though he did not have money. then mataji showed me a cave that a famous holy man frequented. then we continued to Laxmanjula, which was another main hub of Rishikesh where she said there were good western restaurants. this area I enjoyed a lot, filled with westerners too. we went to this cafe overlooking teh river which was a really cool spot. By this time it was late in the day. we walked up a steep hill and went in the direction back towards my ashram. hers was right next to it. i was amazed at the energy of this woman, how is old enough to be my grandmother. 72 years old and she just kept walking and climbing. though she was old, she seemed like a peer to me, and I enjoyed talking with here about cosmic things and deeper meanings of Hindu thought. i am finding time and time again that the people you meet really makes traveling special, the sites are secondary to this. We stopped at her friends house where we had chai. i have learned that declining chai does not really work, they always insist that you have it and cannot believe that you do not want any. So many people knew Mataji and stopped to say hello on the road, touching her feet as a sign of respect. she is a very respected woman around here. I made it back to the ashram, and wanted to tell you all about the day in the nearby internet spot. having a great time and loving this place! i will probably might mataji again tomorrow at some point, and who knows what I will find. i want to do some yoga classes when I can and have heard of some good spots. i think my time here will be great.

Sight Seeing Again

So I have not really ventured out into Varanasi too much since the first few days I was here. I have been content with just having music lessons and bumming around. And I have gotten comfortable around here. But today, I decided I would try to see some temples. After breakfast with Devi I headed to a sitar lesson, and learned a new raag today called yaman. Then soon after I had a vocal lesson, which I am really enjoying, it is a bit of a challenge too, but I welcome it. Ran into a guy who really wanted me to go look at sitars with him in the hopes that I would buy and he would get a fat commission. It got really annoying pretty quick and I found my way out of it after lots of rejecting. People do not like the word no around here sometimes. So I wondered on the ghats for a bit then decided to grab a cycle rickshaw and try to go to Durga temple which I had heard about. The ride there was incredibly entertaining. My drivers bike was not in the best shape and he kept stopping and hammering something into place. Pretty soon we stopped for 15 minutes at the rickshaw repair station and they did some maintenance work.  I did not mind the wait there was enough to look at nearby, as always in this country. So we finally got there, and it was a perfect time because they were doing evening worship so there was lots of people there and music and bells. The place was really cool. Huge red towering structures. Red for Durga the goddess. I sat and watched everything for a bit. Then went to another temple closeby, but I made a mistake, thought my driver was someone else, so I went with another cycle, felt really bad I never paid the other guy. And the new guy had a fake leg and used pity to get 30 rupees out of me. Anyway, I saw this other temple that was quite nice, and had inscriptions from the Ramayana all over the place, it must have been dedicated to Rama. Then the monkey temple. Which had some huge trees inside it built into the temple itself. Monkeys were everywhere overhead fittingly. Then I took a shared auto rcikshaw back with a few locals. For the price you could not beat it. Saw the evening ceremony on the ghats again, then went to dinner at this restaurant that has free music. Pretty good musicans too. A sarangi player was there tonight. Really beautiful string instrument played with a bow. They played a raga which I started to learn today, which I guessed. Then he told me he was also from the Mishra family, after I told him who my teacher here was. And he played Bhopali for me after I told him I had learned it. A real treat. So a good day overall, and I am glad I went out exploring a bit more. I am noticing how well I am fairing in the roads these days. I am walking through like a local, in and out of cows and traffic no problem. It is kind of a trip. Anyway, I am tired and need to sleep.Till next time.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

I have not been in a picture taking mode lately, so no more to show all of you. When I get to Rishikesh there will be some. Varanasi has got me in a daze. At this point of the trip, I feel that I am finally slowing down a bit and have been able to think about everything that has happened in the past month. I have been so caught up in traveling and seeing so many interesting, new things, I have not really had the chance to pause and look at everything as a whole. About a month ago I was at Dulles airport boarding a plane to Amsterdam, it seems like another lifetime. As I started to recollect the last month in my memory, it is all a kind of blur. So many places, so many people, soooo much in general. I am really proud of what I have accomplished on my own, and feel like I have learned and grown so much, more than I can see at this point. I have thought people are indeed really different here. Life seems to move slower, people are more laid back than anywhere else I have seen, and the culture is far removed from my own. Religion plays a much bigger role in everyday life more most people. But still people are much the same as they are anywhere else. They want the same things. People work hard, and need to make money, though maybe very little, to scrounge by. There are many people that have little, many people who have much. Just like anywhere. But it puts into perspective, the people who have little in America are often times rich compared to some of the people here. But as much as I would love to see poverty disappear from the world, and as much as I believe that we have the resources to feed many, clothe and shelter many, I am starting to think that poverty is just part of life on this earth. Suffering is part of life, and will continue through the ages much to our dismay. I can give a beggar 10 rupees but I cannot really make a change, as much as it pains me to say it.

Perhaps the little things are enough though. Perhaps love is really enough. Compassion and Love, jut like all great sages have taught. Buddha, Christ, Krishna, Mohammad. There is no difference of where one is, love is the most powerful thing in the world. And seeing things as they are here, seeing the humanity.. people sleeping on the streets in rags, and lepors begging for change, mothers with their babies asking just for some food, all of the ugly things... and then all of the beautiful things right on the same street, you can see a lot in someone just by looking in their eyes. You see people working so hard, with no thought of a different life, no thought of picking up and traveling to other lands as I am doing, but in their sweat and tears there is such great love. They work only to provide for others it seems. So their family can eat, so they can live another day in this world. And children always are happy, as long as they are fed, no matter where they are on this planet. Because they are innocent and uncontaminated, and they can play and be entertained by almost anything. No need for video games, a stick is perfectly fine. It really pierces you right to the core, because everything is so in your face here. Nothing is hidden. Varanasi is perhaps one of the greatest examples. Death is so in your face for one. Seeing burning bodies is something that never leaves you I am sure, as the image of what I saw is perfectly clear in my mind. But even this is part of humanity, and cannot be denied. Perhaps in America we like to push things aside, and not think about the darker points of life, but not so much in India. We all are part of this existence and all have to deal with poverty, with affliction, sickness, hunger, greed, desire.. even if we do live relatively comfortable, we all have to deal with death. And so Varanasi forces you to look right at it, and look in yourself at the same time, and realize your body is nothing, that it is fragile and temporary, and is going to pass away and be no more. So then you have to really think about who you are and what you are. If not the body then what? Perhaps just spirit, just pure spirit built out of love. If God is love then we must be love as well. And if God is universal, then Shiva is God, and Christ is God, and Allah and all the rest. The name is beside the point. A name is like a body and has no eternal value anyway. When you sit on the ghats by the Ganges river and look at everyone bathing and offering worship to the river because it represents God himself, you recognize it's holiness as well, because it goes behind the Hindu religion, it is the energy that is put into it that makes it holy. Perhaps all of us are just cosmic balls of energy, free to decide where to put this energy to work and how. So this becomes our task, how to spend our energy. Of course use the energy in evil ways, or in good ways. The only energy that really gives back anything worth keeping is love. Love in all of it's forms and varieties. So after being here and traveling for the past month, I guess what I feel is a desire to spend this energy in more ways. I do not have a clear vision of my purpose in life, of what I am going to do when I get back. Although it is nice to not hear the question of what I am going to do for a good while. Now I kinda just think who cares??! So what if I have a 401k or health insurance. Man, these people here don't even know what that is! And most of the world's population too.. So these things, material things really, and financial security and all of it, these things are really not important. I already knew this, but now I am confirming it. What I do must be guided by the energy of that which we all are at our core. And that does not have to be anything huge, just something that is good for me and good for others. What else is there? I don't think I will ever look for my happiness in a paycheck, this trip has shown me behind a doubt that money is not the source of happiness. And so much more it has shown me. So many people have showed me kindness, and have welcomed me into this country. I have been exploring the depth of Indian music and the incredible dedication of it's pioneers. True artists in every sense. And it makes me want to be a true artist as well, because you can feel the truth and power in every note they play. The same it can be with every action we perform, not just in music.

This whole month of traveling, I have become confident in myself, and I know that I can make it alone in this world and not get lost. And I have been so opened up, to so many things and all kinds of people. And all the people from so many different countries have shown me that love is present every where. And that this is the core of humanity. We are all very different but mostly similar. So now I have three more days here, and then I leave for Rishikesh. It is hard to believe I have a whole month to go. By the way I have decided to come home in November for Thanksgiving. I am having  great time but miss home and am satisfied I think with one more month. Traveling really wears you down and I do not know if I could do this for so long at this point. So it is set. Hope this is happy news for all of you. One more month I think will be spent even more so looking inside myself. What better time than now to examine the self than up in the mountains. Hope you enjoyed my rant, perhaps I have trapped you all into thinking a lot more than you wanted to... Peace